? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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