If i come over, it means nothing
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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