So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
