I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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