I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
