I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
