I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
