Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
