? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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