these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
