i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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