brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
