when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
