Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize