I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
