She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
