Jerry, you need to find god
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
