You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
