College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm sobbing to NWA
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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