Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You made out with two different species that night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
