Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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