How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
