Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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