We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
