Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
we're so committed to being not committed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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