Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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