dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize