Sry I called you an 8
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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