I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
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Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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