my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
they're like a gay fantastic four
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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