If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
