dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.