Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

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(603): I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck. http://tfl.nu/e2r4

Replies (13) Good night (1012) Bad night (1112)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

summer is not the time to consider going full bush.

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(337): summer is not the time to consider going full bush. http://tfl.nu/4smx

Replies (71) Good night (765) Bad night (3934)
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(914): View more from New York

We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.

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(914): We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/1mpx

Replies (26) Good night (6149) Bad night (766)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

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(610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd

Replies (40) Good night (6276) Bad night (1319)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.

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(618): Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog. http://tfl.nu/c9by

Replies (29) Good night (2417) Bad night (5134)
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(503): View more from Oregon

iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.

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(503): iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane. http://tfl.nu/zl9e

Replies (18) Good night (6664) Bad night (1286)
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(343): View more from Ontario

I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time

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(343): I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time http://tfl.nu/okao

Replies (3) Good night (3219) Bad night (964)
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(719): View more from Colorado

getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.

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(719): getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week. http://tfl.nu/rliz

Replies (1) Good night (1962) Bad night (1242)
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(360): View more from Washington

What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.

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(360): What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is. http://tfl.nu/1m0s

Replies (11) Good night (2335) Bad night (715)
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(727): View more from Florida

The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.

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(727): The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands. http://tfl.nu/kwg7

Replies (5) Good night (1371) Bad night (659)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.

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(774): I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work. http://tfl.nu/gs7f

Replies (3) Good night (487) Bad night (1003)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril

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(931): Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril http://tfl.nu/vmx1

Replies (9) Good night (410) Bad night (1016)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.

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(517): Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up. http://tfl.nu/ansq

Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (347)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!

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(337): And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir! http://tfl.nu/0uwq

Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (406)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.

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(202): She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising. http://tfl.nu/7jp1

Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (330)

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