who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
