don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
someone owes me an orgasm
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am one with the molecules
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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