I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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