My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.