wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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