She is in my trunk
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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