He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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