you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This is the high leading the old right now
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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