apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
