we're blogging at a bar
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize