Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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