I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.