Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
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Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...