I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.