Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
