i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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