he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How does one acquire holy water?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
