You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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