i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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