Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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