I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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