that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
