My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
