We're facebook friends in real life
ugly people sure do ruin things
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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