Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
