is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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