They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
