there's paper in my vomit.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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