I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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