didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
