Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
