you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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