All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize