Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
