yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
